Welcome back, kiddies. It’s time to look at another one of our tales from the crypt. “Lover Come Hack To Me” proves it’s always important to know someone before you literally get into bed with them.
This episode is about a guy named Charles (Stephen Shellen) who has married Peggy (Amanda Plummer) for her money and everyone knows it, except for Peggy. She is a little suspicious, but she’s not really made up her mind. Peggy’s aunt Edith (Lisa Figus), on the other hand, sees right through Charles and knows that he’s just looking to get Peggy’s fortune which she got from her mother.

Stephen Shellen as Charles
Their wedding night isn’t quite what every couple has. On a dark and stormy night, they’re driving down a back road when they come upon a downed tree, likely thanks to a bolt of lightning. They can’t pass so they decide to hold up for the night in an abandoned home. This was horror movie written all over it, right?
Charles suggests they strip down to warm up next to the fire while their clothes get a chance to dry out. Peggy’s not so keen on that idea and she decides to wander off and look around. When she returns with their bags, Peggy’s ready to jump Charles’ bones. There was a whole personality change here, and then she decides to move their business on upstairs to a bedroom. Apparently she’d prefer not to have sex on the couch. The dark, spider-web infested home doesn’t damper her willingness to engage in sex, however. She and Charles go at it through the night, ending their perfect first night together.
After midnight, Charles wakes up with a nightmare. He sees a woman who looks a lot like Peggy, having sex with another man downstairs. Afterwards, the man gets cut up into pieces by the woman and it’s here that Charles realizes he’s having a vision of the night in which Peggy was conceived. And Peggy continues with the old family tradition by killing Charles.
As far as family traditions go, this was a gruesome one indeed. I liked the twist, but I didn’t think the writers did a very good job of informing the viewers on Peggy’s family’s history. I mean we all learned it from Charles, who sounded like he was reading a monologue, as he was going through his nightmare, telling us all about the family’s history. It just seemed like lazy story telling.
The only other complaint has to be lodged at the makeup/prop department. There was entirely too much blood on Charles and Peggy for that to be believed. It’s like someone butchered a cow and sprayed them with the entire animal’s blood supply!
Rating: 6.5
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